As a nation, we are pretty good at never being happy with ourselves. We become obsessed with looking at other people and comparing our “flaws”. This isn’t necessarily a looks thing either. We compare ourselves over the most meaningless topics too. From house envy or wishing you did a different degree – we are never content.
By no means am I writing this post to say that I’ve stopped being guilty of comparing myself to others. I am merely just getting started. When you stop comparing yourself to other people you can start to embrace your true self. You then start to show a real confidence and people will notice!
YOUR BEGINNING CANNOT BE COMPARED TO SOMEONE ELSE’S MIDDLE
When you are starting something new whether it be as a blogger, YouTuber or your first full-time job, it can be really easy to look at other people and wish you were in their position. This is such a common comparison we put on ourselves and it just isn’t realistic. If you’ve had your Instagram account for a week then you can’t beat yourself up about the influencer that has 10k followers and had their account for 5 years. If you’re being paid £20k as a trainee then you shouldn’t feel bitter about your up-line who has been in the company for 4 years and earning £30k. You can be that person one day, it just takes time.
PEOPLE ONLY SHOW THEIR GOOD SIDE ONLINE
There are very few people that show their “ugly side” online – me being one of them. I don’t tend to post make-up free photos, or the ones of me in baggy jumpers and joggers. I also definitely don’t post about arguments with James or the times that I’m just so overwhelmed and can’t stop crying. It’s important to remember this, because it can be so easy to be envious of people having “perfect” lives with “perfect” relationships but in reality not one of us is perfect. Not even those YouTuber’s with 10 million subscribers have perfect lives. People generally only show the happy, adventure filled, exciting side of their lives online. They don’t actually go hiking on a daily basis or spend everyday in an instagrammable coffee shop.
COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHERS STUNTS YOUR SUCCESS
When you constantly compare yourself to other people whether it be career or looks-wise you can instantly stunt your success. For me, I know that as a size 14/16 looking at someone who is a size 8/6 can put me into a self-loathing state which in turn means I snack – hard. Of course, this then destroys my hard work I do with my Personal Trainer and a vicious cycle begins. Something that has helped me past this, is realising that even that girl at a size 8 might not be happy with their body either. They might feel too big or too small, they might even dream of having a curvier body like mine! Just because you aren’t happy with the stage you are at, that doesn’t mean that there isn’t someone wishing they were in your position. Don’t let comparisons hold you back!
YOU WILL NEVER BE ANYONE BUT YOU
No matter how much you try, you can never get away from the fact that you are you. You can switch up your make-up and pretend to like fashion trends but you cannot change your personality – and you shouldn’t! Nothing can change the fact that your favourite type of film is a comedy or your favourite food is Italian or that you are passionate about writing. They are the things that make you, you.
Comparing myself to others only left me feeling sad and hateful. I started to resent people because they looked better, earned more money or had nicer things than me. Comparing myself to others meant I would push people away and isolate myself. Comparing myself to others lead me to forget who I am and the things that I enjoyed because I was so fixated on looking the way I thought people wanted me to look and to enjoy things that I thought people wanted me to enjoy. Enough is enough. I am enough.
Are you guilty of comparing yourself to others? Or maybe you’ve managed to get over this and want to share your tips? Let me know!
Want some more self loving content? Why not read my Self Love Tag!